There are few things more painful than realizing this is the end of a relationship you hoped would last. And even though the “it’s over” moment can be heartbreaking, sometimes there’s no other choice but to end things. Especially when your partner clearly doesn’t care about you anymore; if they ever did in the first place.
Members of Reddit’s ‘Ask Women’ community discussed their experience with such partners in a thread started by the user ‘Street_Salt_1973’. They asked the women when they realized that their partner didn’t care for them, and quite a few were willing to share. Providing answers that cover stories ranging from aggravating to heart-wrenching, the members showed that lack of care can be enough to bring the fairytale to its final chapter.
#1
When I explained that I'd been feeling depressed because playing music is my outlet and I'd been really missing it. I bought a keyboard for the extra bedroom which he didn't notice for 2+ months. When he did notice he told me to get rid of it because he doesn't want "extra junk" in his house. I only played with headphones and usually when he wasn't home but he told me if the keyboard didn't go, I had to. So I took the keyboard and left.
Image credits: KualaG
#2
When the "your match is about to expire" notification popped up while he was showing me tik toks.
Image credits: crinmar10
#3
Me, when I fell down the stairs at my boyfriend's house and I was screaming in pain because I broke my ankle and he got mad at me because he had to drive me to the hospital he later told me he got angry because he wanted to play elden ring
Image credits: Street_Salt_1973
#4
I was physically assaulted at work. When I told him about it I expected him to be horrified, protective, or at least not happy about it. Instead, he looked bored. He implied that I get a bit mouthy so maybe I pissed off the wrong guy. I got the ick so fast there was no turning back.
Image credits: cuddlymammoth
#5
we were out in town and he wanted to grab some street food. i didn't have money on me so i just... got nothing. he didn't offer. i sat next to him watching him eat.it was small, and yes i could've said something. but it was just one of many occasions that made me understand that he doesn't care about me the way i care about him. after two damn years.
Image credits: minty_dinosaur
#6
I fell and twisted my ankle one evening after he had dropped me off for my evening class. Someone riding a bike had to actually go after him to stop him from driving off completely and leaving me there. When he came back to me he was super annoyed and asked me what he was supposed to do about it. So I made him drive me to the urgent care. He then proceeded to make me take my heavy backpack inside with our 2 small children and left us there. He wanted to go get high on drugs. I couldn’t even walk and was so embarrassed and angry. I had to call my mom to come pick us up once I was done because he wouldn’t answer the phone. The entire time my ankle was sprained he never once offered to help do anything. This is one of the many reasons he’s my ex ?
Image credits: DragDolly
#7
When i realized that i was always needing to adjust to his schedule and the relationship immediately fell apart when i stopped putting in the effort
Image credits: paperhoarder2021
#8
He's an ex-husband. When I begged him not to tell me what happened at the strip club because I knew I'd use the knowledge to torture myself, the first thing he did when he got home was brag about the lap dances he got and how hot those women were compared to me in an attempt to upset me because he wanted attention. It didn't work and I ignored him, so he punched my chair. We had problems before that, but that night killed any respect I had left. Things deteriorated quickly afterwards.On a bright note, my boyfriend now has never even raised his voice at me. At every opportunity he tries to make the choice that would make me feel the most safe, loved, and respected. If your current partner is showing that they don't care about you, leave. There's a better life out there for you. I've never felt more lucky than I do now.
Image credits: Brittakitt
#9
Id come down with a horrible flu. He convinced me to come over to his place “let me take care of you, you shouldn’t be suffering alone” I wanted to just stay in my own bed and ride it out but he kept at it and I thought he was just trying to be a caring boyfriend.He just pestered me for sex the whole time and then guilt tripped me when I said I didn’t want to because I was feeling so rough “you mean sex with me would make you feel worse/wouldn’t make you feel happier…. Right, got it, THANKS”
I wish I’d dumped his a*s right then but I was young and deep into a sunken cost fallacy.
Image credits: Rasberryblush
#10
So many small things that I justified as differences in communication. The final realization was when I tried talking about my complicated relationship with my father and he started getting angry at me for not understanding what fathers go through and general explanation of why life sucks for men. Like bro. Are you gaslighting me about my own relationship with my dad?The bulb just went on that he doesn't care enough to understand my experiences. Broke up within the next 2 weeks.
Image credits: sm_aztec
#11
I had to drive a couple hours to say goodbye to my dying grandpa in the hospital. On my way back home, I stopped at Chipotle for dinner. My then boyfriend’s first reaction when he saw me—rather than comforting me because I’d just visited my grandpa for the last time—was to get angry that I didn’t get him a burrito.
Image credits: emshlaf
#12
When I was heavily pregnant and we were arguing. I started feeling pain in the abdomen and collapsed but he just stood there and laughed and said it served me right.
Image credits: forestgnome1
#13
When he critiqued how I gave birth.
Image credits: TheEmpressDodo
#14
The one that was an eye opener was while we were fetching a couple of items from the local store, I got really dizzy and fell on the floor (had vertigo balance issues at the time) she didn’t even notice, and kept on walking around the store, one of the staff brought me a chair to sit down, after a while I managed to find my balance and went to find her, told her what happened, she started shouting defensively. It was over that week. Had to end it.
Image credits: trueblueink
#15
When he wouldn’t go get me food after I worked 12 hours and he had the whole day off and I hadn’t eaten yet that day. The place was like a 5 min drive away but he asked me to get it delivered instead. It took 2 hours for the food to get there. I cried because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had all you can eat/drink packages so I ran around a lot and opened the restaurant that morning too. I was so tired. I broke up with him 2 days later.
Image credits: vglyog
#16
When I told him I really wanted presents to open on Christmas morning. Nothing extravagant or expensive, just some little gifts to unwrap together. I got him a bunch of funny socks and wrapped each pair individually. He “gave” me items that we already owned. Like, took a picture frame off of a shelf and wrapped it, stuff like that. I cried and he didn’t understand what the problem was.
Image credits: BlNGPOT
#17
When I had to take a cab home from the emergency room in the middle of the night because he went home to sleep.
Image credits: weenertron
#18
Ex partner. I broke a glass accidently and stepped on a piece screaming. He didn't even come into the kitchen which was right next to our bedroom. Even after I yelled for him to get something to stop the bleeding.
Image credits: bookandbark
#19
He cried to me about emotional issues sometimes and I always held him and talked him through it. Eventually I needed the same support but instead he got mad and started yelling, blaming me, and told me, "one of us has to be the strong one, I can't have a partner who falls apart like this. I need someone strong."
Image credits: IsItTurkeyNeckOrDick
#20
he stopped making my favorite tea when I came home after work and then he completely stopped being interested in my life....
Image credits: TrainingMain9354
#21
When he said I don’t enjoy giving you orgasms because then you don’t want to have sex for a few days after that.Or maybe when he told me we never went on a honeymoon because he knew he wasn’t going to get any sex.
Image credits: ohisforodd
#22
I returned to Australia in 2021 following a horrible journey back to Scotland (where we got stuck for 3 months) after the murder of my older brother. When I finally got out of hotel quarantine, I witnessed my sister reuniting with her partner who ran to her and hugged her like he was never going to let go. When my partner of 10 years picked me up from the airport, he looked irritated and like he didn’t want to be there. I hugged him but he barely returned it. I found out a few months later he had started talking to other girls online while I was stuck in Scotland dealing with the fallout of what happened to my brother.ETA: He’d been an ex for almost a year now.
#23
I confronted him and found out I was just a side piece. I cried for days, mostly because I couldn’t believe I was that stupid.
Image credits: MyOtherFunLogin
#24
When I found out he had never actually stopped contact with the woman he cheated on me with. They just moved their sexting convos over to a different app. F*****g a*****e.
Image credits: Hefty-Ad-5938
#25
He wanted to invite his family to watch football at our place (because their tv wasn't working or sth), I told him that I'm in pain and I really don't have the energy to have people over. Then he told me that he will just tell them our tv isn't working either. I asked him why he would lie, and he said: "Well, you're always in pain, who would even believe that?"I have adenomyosis.
#26
When I had to have an emergency procedure and instead of him driving me, I had to take the train because it was too early for him to bring me. I had no drivers license.A week later he helped his family at 7AM to move.
Priority noted.
Image credits: WizardLizart
#27
When I realized he doesn't honor my boundaries, doesn't provide emotional support, and after I told him I wasn't happy in our relationship and was considering divorce and he told me he wanted to fix things he created a 2nd "anonymous" snapchat account...but he used his same phone number so snapchat told me one of my contacts had just joined.
Image credits: Sonyabean23
#28
When I was sitting with him and his dad at their house and I was telling his dad about my grandmothers cancer. He looked annoyed to be there. We broke up like 30 mins later.
Image credits: BebopMoon_
#29
when I signed up for bumble bff to make friends because we moved to a new city together and he would rather spend every day on discord with his friends playing video games then doing anything with me.
Image credits: handmeramen
#30
When his entire family took a cruise and invited his ex wife (mother of his 16 year old twins) and not me. And she went.
Image credits: Flowerdriver
#31
During a fight, I'm begging for him to use kind words. No verbal abuse, stay quiet and listen to respond, just have a real conversation. He tells me "that's not who I am, I'm not changing for you." Idk why it took so long for me to realize, but he just doesn't give a s**t about me. I realized he would continue doing that as long as I am around to take it.#32
Me: “I’m in so much pain from my broken pelvis” Him: “Yeah, well, I’m tired too, ya know!” And proceeds to get mad that I am too physically broken to have sex. Actually mad.#33
When my ex proposed to me and then three weeks later started cheating on me with an employee that was underage
Image credits: jinxisco
#34
One example of many -- I was doing the dishes and accidentally cut my finger pretty bad on a knife. My now-ex said, "I would get you a bandaid but I don't know where they are." Like keeping them in the bathroom medicine cabinet for the past several years had been my strategy of hiding them from him somehow.I grabbed a paper towel to avoid getting blood everywhere while I ran to the bathroom to get a bandaid. I had to finish doing the dishes one handed.
The worst part is he identified that the correct answer was to help but chose to make a passive aggressive statement instead to save himself a walk to the bathroom. Real nice.
Image credits: thalia676
#35
- I was happy about losing weight and he’d say “you need to eat some more”- Emotional abandonment
- Started losing respect for him
- Wouldn’t let me take naps if I was tired
- Woke me up (when I was sick) and made me walk on a sore ankle cause he didn’t want to go to a restaurant alone.
- Gaslighting
- I did start questioning if I was trauma bonded to him.
#36
When, less than 24 hours after I had my first dog put down, he asked me why I was still crying. He also had a breakdown in his car, crying, hitting the steering wheel, punching his window, etc when I asked him to stay with me the night I reported my ex boyfriend (different guy) for rape and sexual assault. He said he couldn’t come home with me because he “couldn’t handle” what I said in my report to the police. It was the first time I’d ever told anyone the full story of the abuse I went through and he insisted on coming with me. He instead went home and took drugs. I had to listen to him cry on the phone because he felt like he was a bad person.#37
when he beat the s**t out of me twice for being pregnant, both ended with miscarriages.it sucks but for the better.
#38
When I fainted in the middle of the night and my head knocked a hole in the plaster and he was more worried about the damage to the plaster than to me. I missed a wooden door surround by about an inch.#39
My ex husband told me he shouldn’t have called 911 after I attempted suicide, he slept the entire time I was being worked on so he thought it was just for attention.My current relationship, this week he told me I never do anything in the house until he starts too. I do literally everything including paying the bills and taking care of his kids. It was like telling me he doesn’t appreciate me.
#40
When he tripped and fell into his girl best friend’s vagina.#41
This happened a long time ago but it was when I got in an accident and when I texted him about it he didn't even bother to come see me. He just asked what happened and continued gaming with his friends.#42
When he accused me of being manipulative because I was crying. Why was I crying? Because I had literally just received the news that my closest friend had committed suicide.#43
When my fiancé told me that I was just a convenient babysitter with benefits after I discovered her cheating. She went on and on about how she was so out of my league that I should have known, it was my fault for being so stupid. We had been together for three years, living together for two, and I realized that she never cared. I was just a roof over her head and took care of her kids while she went out to hook up with guys. She kept the ring, and from what I’ve been told she sold it.#44
When he had to pick me up after I was mugged and drove me straight to a bar. I started crying when I realized we weren’t going home and he argued with me why we should go out until he ended up taking me home just to then ignore and pout.#45
When he didn’t comfort me when I’d cry about my creep of a boss.#46
When he didn't want to tell one of his (unbeknownst to me, MANY) bits on the side that it was over because (and I quote) he "didn't want to hurt her feelings!"And then again when I was only hours from having heart surgery and he chose that moment to tell me he didn't love me anymore.
Now I'm with a guy who actually loves me and I regret ever giving that thing I used to date the time of day.
#47
It’s hard to tell. There have been so many glaring signs in our marriage. It’s pretty obvious the only reason he ever cared about me is because I came with assets and a decent paycheck. I wonder if he realizes yet that he has destroyed all the feelings I ever had for him?#48
When I came out of the mental hospital after a 10 day stint and they never cared to see me for *months*When he told me he would have sex with someone else if given the chance and it wouldn’t be considered cheating, disloyal, or unfaithful
When they made me cry on my birthday
When they put everyone else before me, like thank you for penciling me, your girlfriend (now ex), into your super busy schedule
When they weaponized my loneliness, anxiety, and bipolar disorder against me
#49
When I got so drunk the night before I could only puke my guts out every 30 minutes and he only stayed the night because he wanted sex. He immediately left me alone in the morning, while I was still puking, after I told him I'm obviously not able to f**k him.#50
When he cheated with a worker in the apartment complex. He said "can't you get the hint?"#51
When my partner of 2yrs didn't come to see me after I got hit by a car on the way to work. I was at hospital 300 metres (328 yards) from his office, but he didn't want to leave work. Worst thing was I was so used to this kind of behaviour, I didn't make an issue about it and stayed with him for another year. Leaving him was one of the best things I ever did.#52
When he got drunk at a bachelor party and kissed another girl and tried to deny it AFTER SOMEONE SAW HIM.#53
There are countless incidents but the one that jumps out is that his acquaintance had at some point lied and said he slept with me prior to our relationship and someone told my bf about it. I told him it wasn't true. The guy had a huge crush on me for years but we never even dated. It was barely a thing to my then boyfriend and he continued being the guy's acquaintance.Edit to add: Wow, just realized I left out a HUGE piece. The bf of this convo was my first. So yeah, it was just terrible and heartbreaking.
#54
Pay attention to how they act during a family members passing or medical situation. Their true colors of empathy care or selfishness are visible.#55
Actually yesterday. I told him I missed him because we hadn't met for a while. Which appears "annoyed the s**t out of him." I tried to have a calm conversation about why he's always dismissing my feelings, never says anything nice to me, makes disgusted facial expressions when I tell him I love him, and he suddenly snapped, became very aggressive, really mean, and basically made me finally see that he doesn't give a c**p about me or how I feel, sees me trying to talk about something that bothers me as "self-absorbed." He basically told me to f**k off without using those words. I've done so much for him, I've been knocking at doctors doors for over half a year with him now, doing all the research, finding doctors, etc, just to help him deal with some health problems (we live in Japan and he doesn't speak a word after 6 years lmao).We haven't talked since then. And I think the relationship is over.